What i'm not

2008-11-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

it's weird how people will give you every one of their opinions they have for your life and the decisions you've made. most of the time we don't want those opinions, most of the time we search for wise council. i've been told my whole life who i was supposed to be and where i was going to go in life, and even lately it seems like people are trying to define who i am and what i'm going to do with my life in a very shallow manner. that being said, that's what sparked me to write this:

where do i go from here
i dont know, but i'll wipe the dust off my knees
and to the heavens kiss the peace, it's balance that i seek
but when i speak, i can't hear the words i wanted originally
only an inverted sense of reality now is filling me
but how can this be possible i ran in every direction
searched high and low for the answers, and only got a correction
i don't know where i am anymore
looking off the edge of the cliff seemed so comfortable
staring risks in the eye was laughable but i probably should've been careful
i probably should've been smarter , i should've cared a bit more
but why care anymore, when your heart and soul are on the floor
and i do everything i can to move on to a better place
but still shutter at the sight of my honest mirrored face
i don't know who i am
i was hoping that you could tell me
every word i utter seems smeared with false accusations
i am who you say i am right?
irresponsible, unlovable, untouchable, unintentional
but the truth is i might not know who i am
but i know what im not
im not a coward,not arrogant, not a liar, and i KNOW i can be loved
i know theres a way out, if i just find out where i'm from

Peace and Much Love

-M.lot

New song and Blog

2008-11-17T19:48:00.000-08:00

this is part of a song i've been writing for awhile:

"i know that i don't know you anymore
and don't pretend like what i said didn't get through to you
because i picked up all the blame i could until my back broke
all the apologies stacked in the back of my throat , started to choke
so i had to cough, and breathe, walk away, and believe
that everything i thought, never would have come to be
but it has to break free
all the chains locked the pain and tears till we bleed
and the shame that we gained, became all that we see
and still i see the beautiful
the irony of my embarrassment
the agony of my apologies
all this to say i hope its true for you
and i know one day i'll look in the mirror and see the man i always wanted to be
but what we want and what we need are just too different things
so i say farewell to the strategies
the cat and mouse fallacies
the deliberate animosity
and the shadow that still follows me
because even on the cloudiest day the sun will rise
and if i see a glimmer light, i know that theres hope
and if you believe then drop the weapon that you hold high
a loaded tongue, cocked and it's aimed at my throat
i know that i don't know you, but i do know this
that every day that passes by, is a brand new gift
and even if my words have fallen upon the deafness of your heart
saying them is enough to give myself a new start"

it's something that i've been working on for awhile. it still has a long ways to go, but i figured i'd get some feedback to see what you guys think. i'm going to be blogging more about this kind of stuff and just talking about about how the process for my next EP is going, a little self centered... maybe, oh well it's my blog. but seriously, i'll be posting about so many different topics if i were to list them out here i wouldn't be able to make a list for the important things like.

MY FAVORITE ALBUMS RIGHT NOW!:

Panic At The Disco - Pretty Odd. if you don't like PATD , i don't blame you their last album was trash, but they definitely took a new direction with this newer one, so i definitely recomend it. my favorite song off of it right now is "when the day met the night"

Phantom Planet - Raise The Dead. most of you might know them form the theme song for the o.c. "california". but this band surprised me with their versatility and creative song writing. raise the dead is their newest studio album. my favorite song off of it would have to be the title track "Raise The Dead".

Gym Class Heroes - The Quilt. no this band isn't just the annoying singles you hear on the radio and MTV ( i know, big surprise) but when you actualy listen to their entire albums you'll actually discover a very talented and genre-breaking band. my favorite track would have to be the opening track "Guilty as Charge ft. Estelle" or "Home

Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things. This guy never ceases to amaze me. you have probably heard the song "I'm Yours" from this album, and you've probably enjoyed it. i love that song and here what gets me, it's not even close to being the best song on that record, if you've listen to his previous records or just like that one song, i encourage you to go get this album!

and last but certainly not least...

James Morrison - Songs For You, Truths For Me. what can i say about this guy and this album that hasn't already been said by everyone who has ever listened to him. just go listen to this album please and i defy you to try and not enjoy any of the songs on there. this guy is amazing and he took what he had going for him with his previous album and jsut made it better. GET IT!

well that's it for me right now!
Peace and Much Love!

- M.Lot

M.Lot's Thoughts

What i'm not

New song and Blog